The wine bottles went...

From the title you might think this is a post about a "grand old time" of singing songs and unmentionable craziness, but alas it is about finally dumping a bunch of empty wine bottles.   I digress for clarification... I will never forget the one day when I was a in High School, my Mom decided it was time to clean my bedroom.  I was a "creative".  I needed my collections for inspiration!  The shells, rocks, beer cans, cereal boxes, candy wrappers, all the Barbie Dolls and anything else that fell into my possession since I was born were essential components.  Components? You ask?  OK, so in retrospect I was a junk collector.  But I did have insight and vision.  I knew these things would have value one day.  Right now I would probably one of few people who owned candy wrappers from Reece's Cups that had a 5 cent marking and 5 flavor Life Savers marked 10 cents! An original 1st edition Count Chocula, Franken Berry and Boo Berry boxes all of which my Mother exclaimed were "plain garbage!" which justified them being ousted with the trash.  Among many other things, the large stuffed teddy bear my Dad won her at River View the Chicago amusement park in the 1950's who was a bit flattened and grubby because my sisters and I would sit on it on rainy Saturdays pretending we were in a lifeboat afloat on the ocean in the storm.  It had since been perched on my bed for an eon and was evicted as well.  I guess she decided it was time to "move on" and help me let go of the things I no longer needed in her opinion.  For me, it was not only my childhood, but my future she had tossed away.  All in one swoop!  I felt like everything had been taken.  I had no say in what I had given up.  It took me weeks to get over it.  In no time the room filled up again with new things, but my Mother never went back in again.  I think she realized someone needs to "move on" on there own.  

Since then I have amassed many more treasures and lost some in between in other unfortunate circumstances not at my mothers' hand.  My well seeded habit of "collecting" stuff, has only helped me dread "moving on" in the entire sense.  Packing to move was always a nightmare as you might imagine and the mental baggage was the worst.  But I always had a fear that I was giving up something I would regret later.  So I chose to hold many useless things and feelings "just in case"...  Set's of dishes from my 1st apartment and the fear that I might be any of those things I was told I was or wasn't.  All that “holding on” was so holding me back.  "Moving On" became a necessary personal journey for me.  I had to learn that nothing but what I am today really defines me.  I am not the awkward 12 year old or the 19 year old model/dancer anymore.  I am no longer an "active" Mommy.  My girls don't need me to drive them to school activities and bake cupcakes for school birthday celebrations.  I stacked up many mistakes and short comings and have reveled in personal victories and triumphs.  All those pieces helped to mold me, but don't hold me.  My life was and will always be "under construction".  It was not until I really did "move on" that I really became a free spirit and entrepreneur.  However, I do find the collective past is now resurfaced as the wisdom and confidence to give myself the room I need to grow.  And the best part is being able to give without regret.

So what about the wine bottles?  They were collected by my husband and me over the years from various celebrations from holidays, anniversaries and milestones.  Dusty and just scattered with no real place in the house I gathered them up and took them to the recycling been this morning.  I then left the house so there was no chance to fish them out.  When I returned there were empty bins and a true feeling of satisfaction that the memories of the celebrations are still in the less cluttered house.  DMT