Monday Morning Motivator-MUSIC TO THE EARS...

MUSIC TO THE EARS...

 I doubt if there’s ever been a time when it’s been more important for any of us - in our country, in our institutions, in our companies, in our families - to speak up, speak out and actually be heard. One of the most rewarding parts of the work I do as a coach is to help people present themselves and their ideas powerfully - and even unforgettably - and enjoy the process. And what I know is this: The words we say are critical but just as important is the sound we make when we say them. In fact, if the sound is “off” your audience might not even hear the words. Here’s an example:

Recently, I was on a plane flying from New York to Raleigh. The flight attendant was reciting the standard spiel about the location of the exits, the seat being used as a flotation device, the way the seat buckle works, etc. “Be sure to adjust your own oxygen mask before attempting to help others.” These are important words but the trouble was, it was almost impossible to actually listen to them. Her voice was painfully shrill, high-pitched, strident and shallow. The woman sitting next to me shook her head and actually held her ears as the flight attendant spoke. I found myself wondering irritably why “they” don’t give “these people” coaching in how to speak. But of course, this young flight attendant isn’t alone. In fact, she has lots of good company. Even people whose voices are vital to the success of their work or the fulfillment of their aspirations - news anchors, meteorologists, politicians, teachers and preachers - fall prey to the belief that somehow it’s all about the "words" - and they forget about the “music.” As a result, not only are we not informed, motivated or captivated by them, sometimes we simply dismiss them. Hey, it’s worth noting that the average dog knows 250 words - but it’s actually the tone of your voice that moves, soothes or upsets them. And I don’t need to remind you of how important “tone” is to babies. In fact, very early on, it’s everything...

So what do we do? How do we go from people holding their ears when we speak, to their leaning forward so they don’t miss anything? Here’s some of the advice I give my clients:

1. Think of yourself as a musical instrument. Go from imitating a cornet (sharp, at times shrill sounds) to imitating a cello (deep, rich, mellow, soothing tones.) I love cornets, btw, just not in a voice...

2. Listen to voices that you find particularly pleasing. Meryl Streep’s voice in “Out of Africa” was superb. Watch/listen to any old films with Gregory Peck. In my opinion, absolutely no one has ever had a more wonderful voice. And Loretta Young’s voice is music to the ears...

3. Never confuse being heard with being loud. Ironically, sometimes you have to be quiet for people to actually listen to you. Remember when Hillary was running for president? She fell into the habit of almost shouting or haranguing as many of the “boys” do - and it was not effective. It was when she was quiet, emotional and honest that she moved us...

4. Don’t think you have to fill up all the air space! There is magic in “the pause.” Bill Clinton uses this very effectively. When he pauses to search for the right word (because it’s so important to him to get it right for us..) he has us in the palm of his hand. As any composer will tell you, sometimes the magic is in between the notes...

5. Read aloud to your children or grandchildren and practice your new “tones” on them. Or record yourself reading a favorite passage from a book, a poem or an interesting op-ed piece. Re-record your voicemail message. Listen for the cello...

 When you set your good “words” to the right “music,” you’ll create your own magic. And that’s important...because it’s time for you to be heard. 

Gail Blanke’s Lifedesigns©2012 All Rights Reserved