Monday Morning Motivator-DON'T GO IN THERE LOADED FOR BEAR...

DON'T GO IN THERE LOADED FOR BEAR...

It doesn't work. Okay, you haven't had a raise in a really long time, you're doing a yeoman's job, other people are getting paid more and you're really feeling taken advantage of. Same thing if you feel you deserve a promotion - and have for, what? Years? Or, let's say, a colleague whom you thought was a friend has said something really negative about you behind your back to your boss. I know: Your instinct is to absolutely "go in there" and let 'em have it, right? Tell 'em you're mad as hell and aren't going to take it any more - hackles up, looking for a fight, expecting some cockamamie excuse. Don't do it! The other person goes straight on the defensive and then...strikes back. Why wouldn't they? You've made them feel wrong, dumb, ineffectual or just plain weak. And you end up making a difficult or troublesome situation into a complete disaster. So what do you do? First, assume you're going to get what you want, that they'll understand how you feel, realize how deserving you are - of the raise, the promotion, their loyalty, whatever. Second, adopt an attitude that's warm, conciliatory and optimistic. Third, use phrases like, "I'm sure you understand how I feel." Or, "I know we can figure out how to rectify this situation." And, "I'll do whatever it takes." Then the magic kicks in: You become "partners" in finding a solution, changing the game...and creating a happy ending. It's not all that hard. It's actually fun. And it works.

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